A Mother's Retrospection

It was exactly 20 years ago today when my baby came into this world with his most angelic face soothing my very soul.

As I held him for the first time in my arms, the feeling was incredible … indescribable … irresistible.

He was tiny and frail but when I hugged him close to my heart I felt so strong and invincible. He was completely dependent on me but I felt that my very existence just depended on him. As I watched him sleep, all my troubles melted away and were replaced with palpable peace I never imagined existed.

My years were spent with careless abandon but when he came into my life, I was consumed with an overprotective feeling and I need to shield him from all harms both real and imagined. Yet, as I look into his eyes, a strong sense of security melted all those fears away. An inner voice told me “everything will be okay.”

It seems just like yesterday. The images are vividly imprinted in my mind and all the wonderful feelings are eternally embedded in my heart.

Sad

Got the news like a heavy downpour on a Saturday morning. A friend sent a message too hard to read. Too painful to digest. Too much for a morning starter.

One of our friends has Stage 4 Lymphoma. The doctors will no longer operate. She has been in the ICU for a week now.

Sad.

I asked if I can announce it to our other friends but she didn't know what to say. I told her we should because they all have the right to know. We all love her, maybe not equally, but we hold her dearly in our hearts.

I called another friend. She just got the news too. She was shaken like me, so shocked we didn't know how to handle what hit us today.

We shared our regrets of not seeing our friend before she fell ill.

Life is indeed short. Regrets make it shorter. But prayers make us stronger.

A Wonderful Daybreak

The trip was short. Only a week. But the activities were packed with nerve-wracking schedule: 3 countries in 6 days...and we must see the beautiful places in between a convention we need to attend everyday.

After a grueling week of tours and night-outs and meetings, I was looking forward to a relaxing trip back. On our flight home, some technical glitch happened to my seat assignment. My original front row aisle seat was changed to a window seat and it cannot be altered. I was stuck in a window seat for a 13 hour flight! Oh my God!

It felt like that was the longest 13 hours of my life. I tried to enjoy watching the in flight movies but I was so sleepy to finish one. In between fitful naps, leg cramps and stiff neck, I was wishing I could stand up and walk along the aisle. Every time I wake up from a shallow sleep, I would look at my watch and feel so disappointed that it was still a long way before arrival time. Looking out of the window, it was pitch dark, except for the blinking plane light that was piercing the night and my eyesight, so I closed the window.

Every time a meal was served, I would open the window and check if it wasn't dark anymore only to close it again. It was still as black as ever outside. After the third serving of meals, I opened the window and saw that a crack of light was breaking off across the horizon.

It was an awesome vision to behold like finding an oasis after a day's travel in a dessert. At long last my ordeal was about to end. In a few hours we will be touching down and I can have my most deserved rest.

I took my camera and captured that moment to constantly remind me that even the longest night will always have a daybreak.

One Rainy Morning

I woke up with the dainty spatter of rainfall on my window pane. It is still early and a bit gloomy because the sun is covered by the rain clouds. I can see the rain falling gently all over the land. Green leaves looking verdant and cool breeze touching my cheeks like a gentle kiss of a baby.

It feels heavenly to snuggle by the window with a warm cup of coffee and just watch the world waltz by in slow motion. Everything is peaceful, everything is calm.

Ah, what a wonderful morning!