I am so relieved that finally it's Saturday.
The previous weeks were so hectic and I don't even have the right to feel sick. There were days that I have to drag myself out of bed even when my body was screaming for more sleep. There were days that I feel sick and tired of packing and unpacking, taking very early morning or late evening flights. Due to my different destinations every week, I even reached the point that I have to look at my boarding pass to check which flight I am taking, every time the announcement for boarding was called. My flights are short but the waiting time and preparation are still the same. The packing of clothes, trips to the airport, check-in counter rituals of falling in line, removing shoes, passing the x-ray, going to the lounge, waiting and praying that the flight is on time.
In times when I am in my office, the experience is neither relaxing. Meetings, instant deliverables, urgent requirement, spur-of-the moment business reviews with the GM and more demanding meetings until the evening...not pleasant.
I am starting to feel like a zombie. I am feeling like a slave.
I have to stop myself and re-examine my thoughts. Why am I so negative now? Why all these ramblings and complains? Do I love my job? Am I still made for this? Is this career still made for me? Is this the only career that I can have?
Looking at the people on the streets or the images flashed on the news about recession, jobless executives giving up their usual lifestyles, poor families not knowing where to get their next meal, war-stricken countries where peace has to be paid with lives...they are enough to wake me up and bring me back to my senses. Looking back at my ordeal last year when I was emotionally battered by the people reporting to me, I can say that physical exhaustion is better because all I need to do is rest.
In our recently concluded Sales and Marketing Conference, the fruits of my labor were highlighted. From my team came the best and the most number of achievers and we had the best sales performance in the company. It was more than enough to erase my fatigue away.
The other day, despite the natural high I felt from my team's accomplishments, I wasn't feeling well. I really had to listen to my body this time. I slept whole day and night. When I woke up, I was a new person. I reported back to the office feeling great. Maybe because I was able to regain some of my lost sleep or maybe because I realized I am very blessed or maybe because it's a Friday. I don't know. All I know is that I have very simple joys. It's Saturday again and I will have my most needed rest.