Thursday, September 17, 2009

Hanging On


It's been quite a while since I wrote anything in my journal. So many attempts, but my intentions were often defeated by reasons. I was emotionally unstable ever since I lost my job. One day I would wake up brimming with optimism, but in just one moment, I find myself wallowing in the sea of uncertainties. There were days that I felt like it was business as usual. There were times when the shadow of fear was looming at the corner, waiting intently to gobble me up alive.

September 15 was my official last day of work in the office. The hardest part was packing my things. Numb and mindless, I stashed away the symbols of my career inside brown boxes and I left quietly, unnoticed. Twenty-three years and I was just a receding shadow. It was a sad way of ending a career in the company I considered home… but at that moment, it was a little victory to leave my office room for good without tears and heaviness in my heart.

On Tuesday, I will be back in the office for a 2-day "Moving On Program" for retrenched employees. It's the last battle to fight. That would be the day when all of us will gather and say our good-byes. I am never good at it, but I will do my best to keep my composure and leave with my head up high. I should be because I gave my best and served the company well.

I liken myself to the dragonfly perched on the tip of a car antenna - still hanging on for a while but ready any minute to fly away into the clear blue sky.

14 comments:

chemist said...

Searching Soul:

And like the dragonfly, I am sure you will eventually land somewhere else - hopefully better than the 'car antenna' where you were previously!

It is small comfort to hear this but a colleague reminds me often that the companies for which we toil about daily are NOT our families (although they may seem like that especially if we are blessed with wonderful co-workers). So when things go sour, well, we should not let ourselves get too sad as these places are just that - places to work and make a living. They can NEVER replace the love and attention of a family member. Anyway, all the best. If you have time, take a short trip to Alaska or Wyoming! It sure works for me!!

Traveling Chemist

Lesley said...

What an unusual picture and I love your comparison of it. I like what chemist said about landing somewhere better than the car antenna. That was funny. :O) And I'm sure you will, just give yourself time.

Hindsfeet said...

hi there.....just wanted to invite you to read a journal entry I posted moments before I stumbled on to yours...I really hope it brings you comfort... http://hindsfeet-birdseyeview.blogspot.com ...perhaps not a dragonfly...perhaps a butterfly whose cocoon has fallen away, a cocoon that felt safe for awhile and helped you form the wings you'd need for your life's new beginning..."Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly." -anonymous

Hindsfeet said...

p.s. ...something to soothe your soul...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xftn_mV7czA&NR=1

Hindsfeet said...

peace to you today, friend...

Al said...

SS,

Hope things have settled down a little, and that the 2-day visit was worthwhile.

Deboshree said...

Hey there,
Long time no see eh?
I know it must be terribly hard for you but you know what, you will sail through and you will do it extremely well.
Everything happens for a reason and maybe someday you may find the reason behind this happening.
Don't lose hope...fly free and do all the things you have always wanted to do.Look forward to them and LIVE!

Love
Deboshree

Carol said...

Oh wow, it's been a while since I've caught up with your blog and I'm speechless at the recent changes that have occured within your life.

But I have no doubt that you will find the path again :-)

Blessings
Carol

Lesley said...

Searching Soul, are you alright given the earthquake in your part of the world? Please check in to let us know you are well.

Hindsfeet said...

Thought you might like to trade your Dragonfly here for some butterflys I posted tonight.....Feel free to take a peek.....

Peace, friend...

kanishk said...

when things go sour, well, we should not let ourselves get too sad as these places are just that - places to work and make a living.


Work from home India

Lesley said...

Wishing you a Happy Christmas, Searching Soul, and my best wishes for 2010!

Jenn Jilks said...

What is up with you this new year? You posted a comment on my Ontario Seniors blog last January. Just checking in!

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